I love Facebook. I love seeing what everyone is up to and watching friends and their children grow up. Even so, there are a few statuses that I could live without and these are them:
1. Vague “I can’t believe this” or “you’ll never guess what happened” – There is nothing more likely to make me not ask about what’s happening as vague statuses like this. In fact, the vagueness is exactly what will lead me to assuming what happened is unimportant, like, say, you dropped your phone or were late for work.
2. Privacy statements and other “notices” – These annoy me because I feel like everyone should know by now that they don’t do anything or are completely fake and only serve to clutter up timelines and shine a spotlight on the gullible.
3. “My real friends will comment” – This is like #1 – Regardless of how I feel about you, I will not comment. Ever. It doesn’t mean I don’t love your or like you, it just means I don’t feel the need to like something to prove it.
4. Complaints about being single when you post what you post – These people know who they are. They spend a lot of time posting photos of their bar excursions sandwiched between those of their children. There are usually memes involved (you know, the ones that that say things like “I’m single because no man is good enough for me” or “You don’t know a good thing when you have it”) and are followed by complaints about how they can’t find a partner worth their time.
5. TV spoilers – We live in a globalized world, people. Stop sharing spoilers on Facebook. If you are going to share a spoiler, do it in the comments with a notice in your status – I appreciate those who do this.